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TOPIC: Giỏi nhịn ... cười

Giỏi nhịn ... cười 10 years 1 month ago #53999

Người Ấn Độ nói tiếng Anh (Thật 100%)
Người Ấn không nói phát âm đúng chữ W và chữ TH. Chữ We thì họ phát âm là Vi
Officer:
-How old are you?
The husband answers:
-I am dirty and my wife dirty too.(I am thirty and my wife thirty two)
The administrator has disabled public write access.

Giỏi nhịn ... cười 10 years 1 month ago #53987

.
Thử tưởng tượng bạn là thư ký tòa án, ngồi nghe thày cãi và bị cáo hoặc nhân chứng hỏi đáp như thế này mà phải nhịn cười.

:grin

Kẻ này bảo đảm phá ra cười vãi đầy tòa.


How Do Court Reporters Keep Straight Faces?

These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts and are things people actually said ...in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place.



ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?

WITNESS: My name is Susan!
_______________________________

ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
WITNESS: July 18th.
ATTORNEY: What year?
WITNESS: Every year.
_____________________________________

ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?
WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?
WITNESS: Forty-five years.
_________________________________

ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget..
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
___________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?

WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
____________________________________

ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: He's 20, much like your IQ.
___________________________________________
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: She had three children , right?
WITNESS: Yes.

ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death..
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?

WITNESS: Well ! Take a guess.
___________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard

ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?

WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male.
_____________________________________

ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
______________________________________

ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them.Because ...
The live ones put up too much of a fight.
_________________________________________

ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?

WITNESS: Oral...
_________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM

ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?

WITNESS: If not, he was, by the time I finished.
____________________________________________


ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?
Last Edit: 10 years 1 month ago by Đinh Cao Thắng.
The administrator has disabled public write access.
The following user(s) said Thank You: Phi Mạnh Hùng (Lớp Tôma), Hoàng Văn (Lớp Tôma Thiện)
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