-After marriage , husband and wife become two sides of a coin ; they just can't face each other , but still they stay together .(Al Gore )
-A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong (Barack Obama )
-“ First there’s the promise ring , then the engagement ring , then the wedding ring... soon after.... comes Suffer... ing ! "(Jay Leno)
-I had some words with my wife , and she had some paragraphs with me .(Bill Clinton)
-" Some people ask the secret of our long marriage . We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week . A little candlelight , dinner , soft music and dancing . She goes Tuesdays , I go Fridays . "( George Bush)
-" I don't worry about terrorism . I was married for two years . "( Rudy Giuliani)
-My wife and I were happy for twenty years . Then we met .(Alec Baldwin)
-There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking . It's called marriage ."(Michael Jordan)
-" I've had bad luck with all my wives . The first one left me. The second one didn’t . The third gave me more children ! "(Donald Trump)
-Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming : 1. Whenever you're wrong , admit it . 2. Whenever you're right , shut up .(Shaquillle O'Neil)
-You know what I did before I married ? Anything I wanted to .( David Hasselhof)
-The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once..(David Bryant)
.)
-Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy .(Tommy Lee Jones)
-A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds : " Wife wanted " . Next day he received a hundred letters . They all said the same thing : " You can have mine . "( Brad Pitt)
-First Guy (proudly) : " My wife's an angel ! " Second Guy : " You're lucky , mine's still alive . "(Jimmy Kimmel)
-“ Honey , what happened to ‘ ladies first ’ ? ” Husband replies : “ That’s the reason why the world’s a mess today , because a lady went first ! ”( David Letterman)
-The great question...which I have not been able to answer...is , " What does a woman want ? "( George Clooney)
-Woman inspires us to great things , and prevents us from achieving them .( Mike Tyson)
-By all means marry . If you get a good wife , you'll be happy . If you get a bad one , you'll become a philosopher (Socrates).
-When a man steals your wife , there is no better revenge than to let him keep her . ( Lee Majors)
Wife and Husband
1.
Wife: How have you managed to get home so early today???
Husband: My boss lost temper with me and shouted.....
"Go to the Hell". So I came home.
2.
Wife: I wish I were a newspaper so you can hold me every morning!!!
Husband: I wish you're a newspaper TOO, my dear, so I can have a
NEW ONE every morning!!!
3.
Wife: Honey, what are you looking for??? Husband: Nothing.
Wife: Nothing? You have been reading our marriage certificate for an hour???
Husband: I was looking for the expired date!!!